How to have a successful yard sale
Step 1: Post signs around your neighborhood while drinking a mimosa. Bonus points if you’re wearing a tight dress & have a hot friend.
Step 2: Get your friends drunk & tell them you’ll give away your shit. Then charge them double.
Step 3: Tell your cat you were just kidding about that whole, “I’m gonna sell you to the highest bidder” thing.
Step 4: Roll around naked in your pile of Hamiltons.